Tuesday, August 14, 2012

My Friend, Debbie Downer....

People are so selfish!! Have people always been so self-centered and selfish and I just have never noticed it before? Or are people really getting more and more self absorbed as the years go by?

Last week I had a conversation with a friend of mine about her holding on to anger and frustration with members of her family and a close friend who she felt were ignoring her for no good reason. She was beside herself with bitterness and anger toward this family member and friend. When I tried to tell her how her bitterness and anger and frustration was not only not getting her anywhere, but it was also not hurting anyone but herself, and that she should try to learn how to "let it go", that she would eventually be a much happier person for it, she adamantly disagreed with me. In fact, she was very upset with me for even suggesting it, and abruptly ended the conversation.

Several days later - an entirely different story -another friend of mine received bad news about her car that was in the shop for repairs. This friend is also going through a divorce, and now to find out that her car repairs would be around the $2000 mark - was almost more than she could handle on this particular day. So I left work early to take this friend to her job and when I came back to work I put a note on facebook asking people to pray for her situation. I said "please pray for my friend - she is going through a divorce and has just found out that it will cost over $1700 to repair her car. Please pray against fear and frustration and pray that God will give her a sense of peace as He works all things out for her good."

Well, my first friend - the bitter one - read that post on facebook and got so bent out of shape that she posted this remark on her own facebook wall. "Why is it that when I am going through a rough time, people tell me how I should feel and what I should do, and that I should "let it go", but when someone else is going through a rough time, they get a prayer request?"

Wow. Seriously? I must admit, I was so pissed about that remark that I had to wait 2 days before I could respond to it. There were so many things that I wanted to say to this selfish person who clearly WANTS to hang on to her bitterness and anger -but when I finally calmed down enough to say something resembling "civil". I wrote this on her facebook post in response.

"I'm sorry that my prayer request offended you. The difference between you and LA [the other girl] is that you clearly WANTED to hang onto your bitterness and anger and frustration, and LA did not. "

Well of course that started it. She said that she didn't realize that people had to meet a certain criteria before they could receive prayer. I told her she was being silly, and that I never said anything like that. Then she proceeded to tell me that since she is this angry, bitter person, she can see why I don't want to be around her. Again - I have no idea where that came from - I never said that. I told her that I thought she was being silly and that it seems like she is not happy unless she is stirring up drama and that I just don't get that. I also don't want to be part of it. She simply replied back "Yep! That's me -drama queen!"

She then proceeded to unfriend me on facebook. Honestly - I'm glad. It was such a draining experience and an emotional day - with friends like that, tell me, who needs enemies, right? I just said Thank You, Lord!

Friendships are too hard when one person is always down, or negative, and the other person is always trying to help them to see the positive side of life - the glass half full if you will. That gets old after awhile. Friendships are supposed to be between two people who both bring something to the friendship. Not one person always "giving" and one person always "taking". Now don't get me wrong, we all go through down times and bouts of frustration, anger, depression, hurt - all of it! But there is a serious problem when one person is ALWAYS Debbie Downer and doesn't hesitate to make it known that they don't even want to TRY to make their life better. It's like the saying about bitterness being like someone hating someone so much that they take poison expecting the other person to die. Yep - that's it exactly!

Yesterday, in the midst of all of the "drama", someone posted a cute little saying on facebook: Sometimes God simply removes people from your life. Don't run after them. Wow. Enough said.